Guys, 1970s Flared Jeans Are SO Coming Back!

AND I'M SCARED!And I know that Tory Burch is going all '70s, and so is Rebecca Taylor, and Etro and  Derek Lam -- especially Derek Lam. But I don't know if I can commit!

So, Topshop's got a handful of flared jeans for fall. Thoughts?

($125, Topshop)

I don't know dude. They're just SO Those '70s jeans. And SO '90s. I don't know if I'm ready to wear 1994 all over again.

($80, Topshop)

I'm more tolerant of these jeans as they're less elephant bell, more biz-cashe trouser.

But I am TOTALLY tolerant of these Rebecca Taylor high-waist zip-pocket flare jeans. Hearts!

Rebecca Taylor Spring 2011/ Yannis Vlamos / GoRunway.com

Derek Lam Spring 2011/Yannis Vlamos / GoRunway.com

I ALMOST Bought These Serfontaine Jeans (And Still Might)

I stopped by the perfectly lovely Kaight boutique in the Lower East Side. It's an eco-friendly boutique, but I'd call it more eco-forward, since it's got really cute stuff that isn't all hemp-y/ Hare Krishna looking, you know? Like eco-friendly stuff -- Melissa troupe + Alexander Herchoivch Oxford wedges and the like -- that doesn't look like it was stitched together from corn husks found on the ground at a farmer's market. (Look, I get HIGH off of recycling and energy efficient light bulbs and reusing stuff. I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against preserving the planet. I just don't wanna dress like it.)

Anyway, the shop is sweet, as are the employees, and I fell in love with a great pair of Serfontaine jeans.

($152, Serfontaine, CoutureCandy.com)

They were. SO. EFFING. COMFORTABLE. It was like sitting in a perfectly worn catcher's mitt made of denim. In a good way. They felt absolutely custom-made for my ass and mine alone. And I LOVED the slightly dusty, semi-'70s medium rinse. And they were soft as a kitten's ear. I rolled them down since I'm 5'2" and certainly can't do the denim capri look without look like a dwarf (side note: I'm NOT into the denim capri look at all anyway). Remarkably, I left without buying them, only because I wasn't in love with the cut of the ankle, which was a little too wide.

Kaight had them on sale for $132. Looks like Kaight doesn't offer Serfontaine online, but if you're into Serfontaine jeans -- and you should be! -- CoutureCandy.com has a ton.

Alexander Wang Denim Hobo Bag: Yes, You Read That Correctly

Generally speaking, bastardizations of and permutations/ variations on denim make me nauseous. But for some unknown reason, I love this "leather denim" Alexander Wang hobo bag. What IS "leather denim"? I couldn't tell you and maybe I wouldn't even if I knew. I just know I cannot resist this Alexander Wang "Donna" hobo and all of its zippers and compartments.

($825, Alexander Wang, Satineboutique.com)

Oh yeah, that price tag makes it pretty easy to resist.

Daniblack Denim Studded Pump: Major Desire!

($175, Daniblack)

Accept no imitations, unless it's straight out of a 1984 time capsule. I ADORE Daniblack's studded denim "Queen" pump.

($119, Oh Deer, Piperlime)

Oh Deer!'s studded Sweetie pumps are visually intriguing, but I bought them, wore them for just a few hours, and was rendered almost incapable of walking -- 3 1/2 inch heels aren't usually a deal-breaker, but the construction on these make them fucking crippling. More like Oh Shit! I promptly sent them back. The Daniblacks look way more comfy.

+ Also, enter to win a pair of Daniblack Vellum or Mimosa satin rosette pump or flat! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Tragedy Strikes Paris Hilton!

I know, I know. Paris Hilton is about as relevant as scrunchies. But I couldn't resist this tragedy in the form of yards and yards and yards and yards of denim...

That's not hot. It's the definition of dirty denim. And it's in fact so bad that it almost makes me miss slutty, Stoli-drenched, heroin-chic Paris.