Daniblack Denim Studded Pump: Major Desire!

($175, Daniblack)

Accept no imitations, unless it's straight out of a 1984 time capsule. I ADORE Daniblack's studded denim "Queen" pump.

($119, Oh Deer, Piperlime)

Oh Deer!'s studded Sweetie pumps are visually intriguing, but I bought them, wore them for just a few hours, and was rendered almost incapable of walking -- 3 1/2 inch heels aren't usually a deal-breaker, but the construction on these make them fucking crippling. More like Oh Shit! I promptly sent them back. The Daniblacks look way more comfy.

+ Also, enter to win a pair of Daniblack Vellum or Mimosa satin rosette pump or flat! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Shoes: Some Awful, Some Not Awful

Holy sheeeyt, y'all! It's a shoe roundup!

Of course, we begin with some horbsness thanks to Irregular Choice, always dependable in the Horbsness department.

($199, Irregular Choice, Asos.com)

Is this just a New York phenomenon, or is the black and gold liquor store bag distributed universally? Anyway, these look like someone took an otherwise perfectly good healthy heel and suffocated it by tying on a liquor store bag. Without the shitty faux chap or whatever that abomination is, this shoe could be adorable with the striped platform and bow in the bag. Alas, it's not to be.

($132, Dru New York)

Just perfectly beautiful, perfectly perfect winter heels. Too bad Dru isn't sold online. Weepy.

($252, Rachel Comey, Oaknyc.com)

These are such a trainwreck that I almost oddly love them? But maybe I hate them? Mainly they're horrible? I love Rachel Comey, but these are pretty wrong.

($87, Oh Deer! Shoes.com)

For some odd reason, I like these, though I could see buying them and never having anything to wear with them. Love the Louboutin-from-afar red soles!

($55, Asos.com)

These are absolutely rip-shit ridiculous. It's also extremely discouraging that they're actually SOLD OUT, meaning that enough people DIDN'T find these horrendous.

($144, Ted Baker, Asos.com)

What? Oh my GOD, NO! They look like they're being held together by twine!

($121, Irregular Choice, Asos.com)

Just unfuckingbelievable. Wear these to your next ecstacy-fueled Victorian orgy.

($99, Steve Madden)

Appropriately enough, these embarrassments are called "Hustler," and them come in 20 different shades, each more horrendous than the next! An award of distinction goes out to the horrendous "foil" family, which includes silver and gold, and the patents: fuschia (shown above), deep red, purple, cognac and more! Collect 'em all!

($221, Harlot, Asos.com)

Appropriately enough, these are by Harlot. So so so bad. Why is it so hard to remember that denim is for JEANS ONLY! And the OCCASIONAL jacket. Don't get it twisted, people!

($276, Salvador Sapena, Asos.com)

Normally I'm not into cuffs or anything remotely Mary Jane-ish, but I love the colors and how the beige offsets the patent leather. Totes wants!

($132, KG, Asos.com)

Um, these are sorta maybe the most perfect jeweled flats ever.

($474, Nanette Lepore, Shoes.com)

Chocolate brown footwear isn't usually my thing, nor are little punchy perforations and lace ups, so it's odd that I find myself attracted to a boot that consists of all three. Yet I like these.

Yay! I know they're kinda last season, but for the 99.8% of us who can't afford the real thing:

($940, Burberry Prorsum, Nordstrom)


($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Oaknyc.com)

.... Jeffrey Campbell has graciously knocked them off for us! Kbyenow!

Early Week Shoe Binge

Some swoon-worthy shoes for you on this pointlessly humid Monday, the day before the celebration of the day of my birth!


($195, Maud, Pixiemarket.com)
I finally went into the ADORBZ Pixie Market on Stanton yesterday. I totally <3'd this Youtube clip for a tour -- the space is tiny, so this short clip pretty much covers it all (but the part where the owner refers to New York shopping as "boring" is so shitty -- the sort of thing that ONLY someone who owns a boutique in the LES would ever say. Barf.)


($79, Oh... Deer!, Modcloth)
So ridiculous that they actually almost work. Oh... Deer! is fast becoming one of my new fave shoe brands. I even actually sorta like these...
($39, Oh... Deer!)
I doubt I personally would wear them, but they're cool in theory.



(Apprx $297, Terrydehavilland.com)
If those Oh... Deer! heels are taxi-cab-inspired, then consider these Terry De Havilland heels school-bus-inspired. And speaking of Terry De Havilland, if you were, for some God-forsaken reason, considering purchasing the painted Pop Art mules you saw on Amy Winehouse, that bastion of good fashion sense, she:
(Apprx $692, Terrydehavilland.com)
They're $70 less on Asos.com. Now you know... But if you're gonna drop that much on shoes, why not make it two pairs, like...
($546, Dolce & Gabbana, Asos.com)
Looooooooove.


(Apprx $160 USD, Eley Kishimoto, Asos.com)
I believe I've posted these before, but they're on sale. And still! Still so beautiful!


($398, Pedro Garcia, Kateboutique.com)
Defs not on sale, but so classy. However, read the description -- awful.



($137, Bernardofootwear.com)
Serious shoe boner for these (via Shopalicious.)


(Apprx $6 USD, Office.co.uk)
And, finally... some fun frugal footwear.

Nitey nite!

Footwear Fetish Friday

Today's post is nuh-in' but shoes, y'all.

Let's start with the in-season stuff.


($280, Devotte, Refinery29shops.com)
Just boho enough but not too barfy-boho. Now someone please find a more affordable knockoff, k?



($198, 12th Street By Cynthia Vincent, Shoplastyle.com)
They're called "Holiday Heel," but I think they're clever in any weather.



($139, Maloles, Bluefly)
J'adore hard-to-find Spanish shoe line Maloles. I also love the leather flats, which you can get here at LaGarconne.com or at the outrageously overpriced Kirna Zabete.



($64, LaRedoute.com)
While I might fall down and break stuff in these heels, they are darling. The heel's only 3", they look taller.



($24, LaRedoute.com)
These aren't totally my speed, but they look comfy and work-appropes. The teal's super cute.



($217, Ashley Dearborn, RevolveClothing.com)
These are ridiculous but totally fun. And finally, something to wear to Puffy's White Party!



($178, Vintage Chanel, DesignerExposure.com)
These are so "Dallas." Love.



($595, Etro, Vivre.com)
Speaking of ridiculous, these are patently ridiculous, but I love 'em. Straight out of a Prada ad where the models are all greased up and lounging in a poolside cabana with trays of food they're totally not eating.


Okay. Now for some totally out-of-season boots.


($799, Anna Sui, Net-a-porter.com)
Um, something tells me Net-a-Porter.com doesn't have a layaway plan. Bollox.



($49, LaRedoute.com)
I generally have a weird prejudice against brown boots, but these COULD actually be sorta cute in brown. And off-season = passing the savings on to you!



($63, Charlotte Ronson, ShopLAStyle.com)
Too wedge-y (hee) for me, but these are a great deal. Stash that shit for fall, y'all!



($188, Michael Kors, Nordstrom.com)
Not sure how I feel about the Studio boot(-ie) in bronze, but it's lovely in black:




($167, Irregular Choice, Schuh.co.uk)
I'm. Not. Afraid. I think these are the funnest, most ridick boots EVAR. And I want 'em. And MK, I already know what you're gonna say, but trust me: you'd come around. If we still lived together, I KNOW you'd end up borrowing them.


Now for some sorta out-of-season heels that are still awesome:


($69, Pink Studio, Village-Shoes.com)
So fun, great price.



($109, Oh Deer!, Village-Shoes.com)
Granted cork + 4-inch heels makes these a leeettle Aguilera, but the 70s-wallpaper fabric makes them a bit less ho-ey. And here they are at shoe-epic.com for only $62, but only in 6 and 8.5.



($73, C Label, ShopLAStyle.com)
These are completely bad-ass.


Now for some amazing finds from Dolce Vita.


($75, Shopdolcevita.com)
Grey heels = deee.lish.



($130, Shopdolcevita.com)
These are outrageously awesome in black AND gold.



($130, Shopdolcevita.com)
Paris-3 = quelle rad! These remind me of Ashley Dearborn, and speaking of Ashley Dearborn...


Here are some amazing Ashley Dearborn picks.


($272, ashleydearborn.com)
And how can you not love a shoe that shares a name with one of Prince's main hos???



($310, ashleydearborn.com)
Must. Learn. To. Separate. Wants. From. Needs.


And finally, shoes I'd consider paying for with rent money.


As Refinery 29 reported, they're $278 and they're by Rachel Comey, available at Pear (the sister shoe store to Plum) on Ludlow Street. And I really really want them. Like a lot. Also, check out Rachel Comey's mind-blowingly gorgeous F/W 2007 line. Check out these standouts, as I deviate from the all-shoes nature of this epic post:










And finally, here's your morts:


($550, 6267, Madisonlosangeles.com)
Are these 6267 Yves D'Orsay Pumps the result of two shoes melted into one? Are they the conjoined twins of the shoe world? Whatever they are, they're rank. (Reported by Jargol.)


Okay. I am done now. Bye!