Dream Booties
(Rafe, Simply Soles)Totally gorgeous, totally named for Pat Benetar, totally $345. Boo.
Dream Hooker Heels
($495, DAVIS By Ruthie Davis, Shopbop)If you're me, and you're probably not, but even so, you've probably seen a lot of these heels around lately (at least in magazines). They're DAVIS By Ruthie Davis, and they make me feel like a giddy drag bunny. I LOVE the heel insert:
It's just about as bondage as I can get, which is to say, not very bondage at all, so they're PERFECT. And not to foresake them by mentioning them half a sentence after bondage talk, but both of my grandmothers were named Ruth, so, in way, spending $495 on them would be like... no wait... it'd still be ridiculous. And I know for a fact one of them would've said, and I quote, "You need five-hundred-dollar shoes like I need a hole in the head" over the matter. Nevertheless, they (my grandmas, may they rest in peace) and the shoes, rule.
More or Less Realistic Boots (Depending Upon Which Day You Ask Me
($131, Bronx, FashionNympho)These boots are lovely, elegant and practical, and they appear just comfy enough that one might not end up limping away all Mira Sorvino-like in that hilarious night club scene in "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" after going just a few blocks. They're definitely a great price, though I have no idea what Fashion Nympho is, and it sorta seems like the sort of site that would definitely make me hesitate to plunk down my debit card number, but hey, if you really wanna save $20 off the price listed here, go for it.
Pumps of My Reality
($69, Seychelles, Plasticlandclothing.com)Seychelles, these are super cute, and so are you. And I just want to say... thank you AND your most realistic price point ... for being there for me again.
Completely Unrealistic Jacket
(Ziji, Sugar on La Brea)"But what?" you may be thinking. "Why, there isn't even a price listed! Just HOW could this be a so-called 'dream' item, hmm?" Trust me. I can tell by her icy glare that she's showing off a pricey piece of tailoring right there. I couldn't blame her for that sneer! And while I can't tell if this is the same jacket, it seems as though my genius Internet sleuthing skills have proven me right -- crazy 'spensie. Yet beauts.
Another Untouchable Garment, This Time, A Dress
($394, Lisli, Frankey's)Throughout history, men have waged war over dresses far less beautiful than this. Okay, they probably haven't, but it sounds like it'd make a believable beginning to one of those old-tymey fables. Anyway, point is, this dress is perfectly delectable.
Two Accessories of the Same Price, Which Is Very Reasonable (Unless You Can Only Afford to Shop at Forever 21)
($70, Emma Gordon London, Stars and Infinite Darkness)I love this bag and all of the bags she makes. So creative and pretty pretty princess.
And Also $70
(Urban Bloom)Seriously, this is gorgeous and elegant, and you could get a much more expensive one by Danielle Pittman, but why?
And Finally... More My Speed
($5, Alternative Apparel, Plastic Land Clothing)Now excuse me while I melodramatically fling myself over an ottoman.