Tuesday, January 11, 2011

New Year's Fashion Resolutions!


Happy 2011, y'all! It's only been 2011 for 11 days, so far, I think it's -- in the parlance of "Saturday Night Live's" Miley Cyrus Show -- puhhritttty cool!

Speaking of new year, FashionBinge is almost FIVE years old and, and we just broke the 1 million pageview mark! (Snork!) Yay, Web stuff! And thank you for reading FashionBinge! You're... pur-ittty cool! 

Anyway, did you make any fashion resolutions? I never even make real resolutions. (It's like, hey guess what? Go to the gym more and less crap. Okay...) But I have a few unofficial fashion / style resolutions I'd like to... resolve.

1.) Wear less baggy/ shapeless stuff. Skinny jeans I live in. But tight tops? Uh, no thanks. You just get to a certain age where a skintight top can make you look, how may I put this... like a slut? There's no balance! And I love balance. But there's also a balance between HUGE rucksack and something Ice T's wife Coco would wear. And for years I was wearing way more of the latter. Now, every time I wear a top that's isn't tight, mind you, but is actually my size, people are like DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT? The answer is, no. I just stopped wearing tops that absolutely swallowed me. I try to aim for more fitted, tailored tops. And it makes a big difference. Huge.

2.) Buy more silk tops and dresses. They feel a little vintage and elegant, and they even look dressed-up with a pair of black skinny jeans. Especially dark silks.


3.) PURGE MYSELF OF ALL HOODIES! I've never really been much of a hoodie person (except for the year 2002, when I wore a thin grey one like ALL YEAR -- wtf!), but honestly, once you're over age 30, I firmly believe that there are just two places you should wear a hoodie. The gym, and/or camping. The only exception is with a motorcycle jacket, if you're good at making that look happen. I mean, if wearing a hoodie all the time is your jam, then great for you. If you're into hoodies, and you're 96, well, I'd salute you just for being 96. But for me, it's not happening.

4.) Get rid of anything too cutesy-wootsy. Look, I LOVE cat t-shirts and stuff. I just don't need 123 trillion of them. I'm at the point where anything cartoony or cutesy needs to have some level of spectacular edge. Because I just don't need to look like I'm four when I'm old enough to have a four-year-old. (Barely though!) I know novelty prints are big for Spring 2011, but I'm carefully considering wearing anything with a face on it these days.

5.) GET RID OF OLD CLOTHES! "They" always say get rid of anything you haven't worn in a year. And I used to hold fast to like, Carol Brady sweaters and stuff just because they had some kind of vague sentiment attached to them. Those vague sentiments being something like "this is a fun, warm sweather." WHO CARES? It may be cute but it looks like hammered shit on me. Much like the now-old adage of "he's just not that into you," I've adopted a similar mantra for clothes to break myself of the habit of hanging onto clothes that don't look good on me while holding out the hope that they somehow may. IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK. I don't even mean stuff that is too small. Just stuff that has NEVER worked on me. IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK! GET RID OF IT! GIVE IT UP! STOP TORTURING YOURSELF! THERE ARE 1 TRILLION OTHER THINGS OUT THERE THAT WILL LOOK GOOD. STOP HANGING ONTO THE 14 THINGS THAT DON'T!

Anyway, I finally had a serious come-to-Jesus with my closet and brought a TON of stuff to Beacon's Closet and Black Bear Vintage. This hot pink and blue jumper. IT WAS FLANNEL. It was RIDICULOUS. Changing-of-the-seasons time (aka -- when you pack away your shorts and bring out your sweaters) is the perfect time to do that. After a year-long hiatus in the top part of my closet, this stuff became totally out-of-sight-out-of-mind. It was a lot easier to get rid of that sweater after not having seen it for a year. I could barely remember I owned it, much less justify keeping it. And getting rid of old stuff made me feel SO good. I have the opposite problem of hoarding basically.

6.) Fance it up a little more. Dress up a little bit more. I'm not a total schlump or anything, but as Kurt Hummel said on the show "Glee," " Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion." Of course, he's a completely fictitious person constructed by a staff of Hollywood writers, but it's still The Truth. In other words, IT'S 2011! FOR GOD'S SAKE, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, WOMAN!




Drake featuring Mary J. Blige & Swizz Beatz - Fancy (Remix) by Hypetrak