Seriously, Russell Simmons, can't you just stick to yoga? Or just hold a press conference and announce you're donating a bunch of your sacks of thousand dollar bills to charity? WHY do you have to do this --an 18-karat yellow and white gold Spongebob (who's turning 10) pendant encrusted in 12 carats of white, yellow, red and blue diamonds. The above piece is the Big Daddy Caddy of Russell Simmons' collection of Spongebob jewelry and watches, which makes its debut at Sundance and will be auctioned off to benefit Russell Simmons' Diamond Empowerment Fund. The collection hits stores this fall and ranges in price from $150 to, um, $75,000. Truly though, I don't care if proceeds benefit my very own shallow pockets. It still hits me where it hurts the most: my style bone.
Like, Lil Jon's $500,000, crunk necklace, which features a not-so-subtle 3,756 diamonds and holds the Guinness World Record for Largest Diamond Pendant is funny-bad (bad when you think of how many people probably died for that piece of shit, and also funny because crunk actually is pretty much dead.)
But Spongebob should be allowed to live under the sea, safe from bedazzles and blings and Russell Simmons and things. Given a morts of this level, you'd think Kimora was involved.