'Tis The Season For Fugs Footwear: The Holiday Edition

Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen, Endless.com)

You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50, Schuh)

How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm, Shopfatal.com)

Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198, Free People)

Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!


(Apprx $152, Topshop)

Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z, Zappos)

Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.

($2,350, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey, Zappos)

Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.

Take A Bow: Adorable Bow Heels!

Yay for heels and flats with adorbs bow accents -- a totes yay way to femme up menswear. So, shall we? Let's!

($132, Betsey Johnson, Amazon)

These have a great Deco feel. Like, if The Rocketeer were a chick, she'd wear these. Which brings me to my recent awesome idea: a Rockettes-Rocketeer mash-up called the Rocketettes. It'd basically be a Rockettes dance show, but it'd be more performance art-y, and they'd be dressed like Rocketeers. Awesome, right?

(Apprx $61 USD, Schuh.co.uk)

Such a cute alternative to regular ol' black pumps. Yay for me: I just bought a similar pair from H&M the other week, but they were patent leather (but not TOO shiny) and had a lower heel for added comfiness.

($190, Taryn, Zappos)

D'Orsay = mas sophisticado.

($60, MIA, Piperlime)

Patent leather bow pumps = really cute in red! They come in black too.

(Apprx $51 USD, Schuh.co.uk)

Slightly ridiculous, but ridiculously fun.

($176, Nana, Yoox.com)

Usually I'm not into grommets and punch-outs and stuff, but MAAAAN would I ever make an exception for these Nana boots.

k. FIN!