Charles Nolan "Kelsey" boots, $148. I am going to go on record and say that any type of ruffle at the top of a boot is unacceptable. Go ahead, contradict me! I bet you won't.
Chloé paneled shoe-boots, $895. A classic hot mess.
Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti ankle boots, 370 pounds. Where to start?
Marc Jacobs butterfly shoe-boots, $895. For Mariah Carey, NOT for you.
Steve Madden purple suede boots, $149.95. Again with the butterfly!
Georgina Goodman "Felix" ankle boot, $947.95. Who? Wha? How much?
Sam Edelman "Utah" boots, $199. We've already established the Binge's position on fringe, so this commentary should go without saying: no.
Jump "Bjork" boot, $128.95. Not sure which is more hurtful to my senses, Bjork's screeching or these monstrosities.
You by Crocs "Fabulous Fashionista" boots, $280. Still don't get Crocs' high-end line: A company that brought you $30 rubber shoes is trying to now sell me $300 boots? I don't think so.
And now, so that the last image I leave you with doesn't have you retching, here's a not-totally-hein pair of purps:
Aldo "Froling" booties, $130. Better yet: You can get 'em in gray.